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Posts Tagged ‘Details’

Detox?

Yesterday evening, my sister and I drove an hour to the airport. We stopped at our favorite sushi place for dinner, where she scolded me for drinking root beer with my sushi. Then, we got on a plane and flew home to spend the Easter holiday with our family. Before jumping on the jetplane, we stopped at Hudson News or Borders-to-go or something like that, and got magazines for the flight. For the past two and a half years, I’ve picked up a wedding magazine. They’re just my favorites, engaged or not. Yesterday evening, I did the same as usual, picking up a copy of Inside Weddings, spring 2009.

Rach and I sat at our gate. Before opening up the magazine, I popped into Starbucks to grab a cup of coffee, since I hadn’t slept much the night before. I had a lovely time talking with the Barrista– from the way she handed my my change and my latte, I realized that she was from Ethiopia, which I love so deeply, having visited last winter. We talked about Ethiopia for a little while, and had a really pleasant time. Unbeknownst to me, my entrails were about to be turned into mush.

Back at the gate, I flipped open my magazine. Rachel sat on her computer. All was calm and quiet with the world. And then I saw it. And had a heart attack.

Featured in this issue of Inside Weddings  was over-the-top wedding after over-the-top wedding. I’m talking multi-million dollar affairs. Fourteen bridesmaids in one, seventeen bridesmaids in another. HUGE chuppas upon covered in flowers. Centerpieces made of roses shaped into swans. Two Monique Luhlier dresses for one event.

One bride and groom rented the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. You know the one– it’s where they host The Oscars. This same couple had a gospel choir, hired professional dancers to pose as stunt doubles for their first dance.

I thought I was going to die.

My latte sat forgotten at my feet.

Once I reminded myself to breathe– inhale, exhale, repeat– and was able to stick my eyes back into my head, I started to get really angry. I mean really angry. My sister, meanwhile, had leaned over my shoulder to look at the weddings in question, and exclaimed, “I want my wedding to look like that!” And I got angrier.

I should blame it on the wedding industry, which I knowingly take part in and enjoy thoroughly. But I just don’t think that’s it. No vendor that I have ever spoken to has suggested that Brandon and I order centerpieces made out of swan-roses, or get a Sylvia Weinstock cake flown in from New York. It just hasn’t happened.

There’s just something about being bigger and better, keeping up with the Joneses and all that, that absolutely incensces me about those weddings. It’s not that they depreciate the value of our wedding– nothing can really do that. But they do set up so many expectations that I cannot (and don’t want to) live up to– no one can.

So, I’ve decided I need to work on anger management. Which I think means… no more wedding magzines. I LOVE Martha Stewart Weddings, and with my lovely subscription, I will still read with voracity. Sure, I’ll read the blogs I love. And maybe, once in awhile, I’ll pick up a magazine at Borders– not to buy, just to peruse. What I don’t want is to see another wedding at the Kodak Theater. This isn’t a production, it’s a wedding. And if magazines and real weddings are going to take my mind away from the sentimentality and turn it into one big show, then c’est la vie.

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Tedium

Well, there’s nothing like entering addresses into an Excel Spreadsheet to spice up a stormy Sunday night.

I love planning my wedding. Take that back, I love planning things, from birthday parties, to showers, to fundraisers. It’s so fun to make a vision come to life. The past few weeks of wedding planning, however, have been less than exciting– calling vendors to check on details, working on addresses and fine-tuning the guest list, figuring out costs of hair/makeup/beauty– all while attempting to remain upbeat and love the experience.

Everything feels like another item to add to a list. Call the florist– check! Arrange day-of makeup– check! Arrange day of hair for self and bridesmaids– almost. Take care of myself– definitely not. The idea of pampering myself with a manicure, or a trip to Sephora for a nice facial scrub is just something else to add to the list of wedding things that need to be completed.

How do you keep yourself from getting lost in the tedium? When you see nothing but to-do lists, how do you zoom out and focus on the experience as a whole?

As they say, the Devil’s In the Details.

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At the last wedding I was at, my aunt leaned over to me and said, “Don’t have kids in your wedding! They steal all of the attention!” as the adorable ring-bearers were walking down the aisle (one with a pacifier). My response? “Only if they do their job right!” I’m so excited for my adorable child attendants! They’ll steal the show, I hope, and I’ll love every minute of it!

One of my earliest posts chronicled my search for the elusive flower girl dress. So, I caved. I went with the Jim Hjelm for our lovely flower girl, Paloma.

The dress on the left, with the pleated skirt, will be in sage, with celadon accents.

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I was thinking of ballet flats like these, from JCrew, for her tiny feet.

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I was also hoping she’d wear this adorable clip in her air, from Banner Boutique. Her hair is a short, flapper style cut, stacked in the back. il_430xn_58471751

 And, like I’ve already mentioned twice, she’ll carry a pomander. Like this. Oh, have I mentioned that I’m a rockstar and making it myself? Cause I’m a rockstar and making it myself.

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When I’d first posted, I wasn’t planning on having a ring-bearer. But, I’ve done what I do best, and I’ve changed my mind. I am a nanny for an 18-month-old. Ciaran, the little boy, and I have quite a great relationship; I love him dearly, and had been good friends with both his parents prior to his birth. So, when it came to thinking about a little boy to walk my adorable cousin down the aisle, B and I didn’t look far. Ciaran is young, however, so we’re not expecting him to walk down the aisle; that said, we don’t want his parents to go out of the way to buy him a baby-tux, so we’re suggesting that they look for a cute blazer, instead. Something like this, also from JCrew.

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With cute little khaki pants, a green shirt, and a boutonniere (that I’ll also be making by myself), I think he’ll make quite a fetching ring-bearer. Also, if he decides not to walk, then he’ll just be a very well-dressed 2 year old. Yes, he turns 2 the week before the wedding. I’m hoping that we’re safe from the Terribles, and that he peacefully decides whether or not he’d like to participate, without tantrums of any sort involved.

Fingers crossed!

Are you opting to have children in your ceremony?

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HelloGocco

OK.

I need to know– should I buy a Gocco? I’ve found one– the PG-5 model, which is what I had been researching– with LOTS of ink and in the right price range. So– to buy, or not to buy? Was it useful to you? Did you find you used it as much as you imagined you would? Is it as easy to use as everyone says it is? What do you suggest?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about Church flowers. Initially, I’d wanted fresh flowers on all the pews. Let me refresh your memory of what our church looks like:

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So… I counted at one point. But I’ve forgotten. All I know is that’s a long-ass aisle, with an exorbitant number of pews. It seats 750! You can hardly blame us, then, when I realized that fresh flowers on all of the pews was definitely pork spending in our budget.

Without shame, I present our solution: silk. Yep, that’s right, silk flowers. I’m going to do it, and it will hopefully is going to look good. My dear cousin also used silk flowers (and I wouldn’t have been able to tell!), and I trust her to-be-wed judgment best of all. I saw this picture on the Knot, and thought, of course I can make that!

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I probably won’t monogram the cones– I just found out that my Aunt has a ton of them that her daughter used for her wedding– also with silk flowers. Since hydrangeas are a theme flower for the day, I’ll probably use them in my DIY fake arrangements. Also, I’ve seen real hydrangeas that I was positively convinced were fake. They’re a good flower to work with, I think.

I would still like to have some fresh arrangements in the front of the church, however. Perhaps some ferns; we can then pot them in our new apartment (which I must blog about soon!) OR, we can do themed arrangements, like these:

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However, my mother and I are terrified that they’ll get lost in the huge expanse of the Church. It will be like Where’s Waldo? all over again! It’s just so huge that I’m afraid no one will see them, and we will have wasted our money. We can (and will!) recycle them, incorporating them into the reception somehow– perhaps at the gift table or near the place cards?

Our florist gave us a few very helpful hints when considering church flowers that I thought I’d pass along:

  1. If there’s more than one wedding at the Church per day, call the other brides scheduled to be married and split the difference of the flowers. Go with a simple white, and you can combine costs to use the flowers at the Church all day; then, donate the flowers to the Church. You may have trouble obtaining information about the other couples from your Church, but if they relent, you could easily reduce a $300 arrangement down to $100.
  2. For centerpieces in the front of the Church, consider using triangular bases, such that the Florist will only incorporate the flowers into the facade of the arrangement, like a set in a play. Since they will be facing front, from the altar, and the congregation will get no perspective on the fullness of the flower, you can use 1/3 the number of flowers as a normal arrangement. The downside of this idea is that you will not be able to easily recycle these flowers; the jig is up if the front-heavy arrangement graces the gift table.
  3. Don’t skimp on your bouquet. Get the most elaborate, beautiful and expensive bouquet that you can afford. Your attendants don’t need anything special. Aside from the pictures, their flowers will end up abandoned on a chair or table while they dance the night away. Your flowers, however, are a part of your ensemble. (And, traditional ettiquette dictates the groom’s family pays for the brideal bouquet!)  
  4. Lastly, don’t sink all of your money on church flowers. In the grand scope of the event, with the average wedding reception lasting 5 hours and the average ceremony lasting 1, the church flowers will be visible and appreciated for a mere 1/6 of the event. That’s so little time, and so little money to be wasted. Instead, opt for nicer arrangements at your reception, or more elaborate bouquets that will be appreciated by guests and your attendants thoroughout the event.

Next up: the reception.

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Mama Mia!

My mother bought her dress! I’m so excited about it, I just had to show off my hot mama!

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This is my mom, my sister (Rachel, Maid of Honor) and I at my cousin Melissa’s bridal shower last month. She’s so pretty!

The dress that she picked is by Cameron Blake, an affiliate of Mori Lee. It’s so her! The lace detailing on it is really delicate and lovely. She wanted to cover her arms, but was having some difficulty because the wedding is in August. This lace bolero jacket, however, will work well in August. The assymetrical bodice is so flattering.

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This picture is great, because my mother has the same sort of coloring as the model pictured here. And, she’s considering wearing her hair in a similar style updo! How coincidental. The color of this dress is aqua, which my mom tried on. It looked nice on her, but “aqua” is quite the misnomer. It’s irridescent, and almost bronzey in some lights. The dress that the bridal salon was so gracious to special order (at very little extra cost) comes in this color, Wedgewood Blue

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It will look so pretty on her with her bright blue eyes and blondey-blond hair. She’s going to pair it with silver accessories, which I fully support. I’m not sure what her plan is for jewelry– maybe pearls? She doesn’t feel like she needs a lot, just a nice pair of drop earrings.

My hair stylist, who I simply adore, was talking about her own wedding experience as we were talking about my impending nuptials. She told me to take the time to appreciate the small stuff. While we’re getting dressed, she said the bridesmaids will require a lot of attention. “Take some time just to notice how lovely your mother looks,” she suggested. That will be a very special moment, the time with my Mom and I.

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Well, I’ve posted on Bridesmaids dresses, the reception and the ceremony locations. I’ve not posted about my dress, for it will remain a lock-stock-and-barrel secret until my wedding day. However, here’s what I’ve been thinking about floral design.

My florist, Janene of In Full Bloom, specializes in “intensely personal flowers.” She’s so great to work with, and I really enjoyed my time with her this winter. I won’t post bouquet options for myself, because as I came to think about my own bridal bouquet, there was truly no other option than white calla lillies. Beautiful, classy, a bit modern, but in traditional white. So chic. I also love the sharp contrast of the green stems– I think that will seperate the white of the flowers from the white of my dress.

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For the bridesmaid’s bouquets, I have a special surprise in store. Also, when talking with my friend, Melissa, on the phone the other evening, she exclaimed, “I found your blog!” This brought on a few mixed emotions– surprise, for one– and also regret that I can’t share all of the surprises I have in store for them. However, here’s a few pictures that have inspired me for their bouquets.

What’s not a surprise is that they will all be all-white bouquets. I love the simplicity of white-on-white that my bouquet will have; I was having a hard time, however, finding an appropriate shade of green to accompany their dresses. So, it’s white flowers for us all!

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I posted earlier about my flower girl, Paloma, and the pomander I’d like for her to carry. That idea is still my primary option, and will also be in the works as a DIY project.

pomander

flower-girl-pomander

I can make one of those, right? Power to the people! The question is– green or brown ribbon? I’m thinking brown. Thoughts?

Next up: Church flowers (another DIY project) and Centerpieces.

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